FATHER’S DAY – SON OR PROBATION?

When I am rigorously honest, a lot of my walk with Jesus is filled with failure and compromise.” Me

What I want to write on Fathers’ day 2009 is about hope; rooted in our Fathers mercy and compassion. I am not here to make excuses for my life, but I know I did not come to this life with a “full deck” and my parentage had some scripting that resulting in me becoming a “survivor”.

In 1972 the Holy Spirit apprehended me, resulting in me becoming a Christian,. Since that wonderful day, my life completely changed, forever.

Fast forward to June 2009. Now 63, father of two wonderful sons, a merciful wife and two adorable grandchildren.

I can see, somewhat dimly, that my motivations in life have been for recognition, applause, and acceptance, aka, Love. This produced in me what I call “performance based faith and life”. So when I failed or sinned, I ran away from God not to Him. I was delusional about a Fathers’ love. I transferred that delusion on, to my Father in heaven. I really owe my Father an amends. Under the lash of shame, guilt, self pity and the devils words of lies, I ran away, always fearful that God was  just about “through with me”; that if I did come back to Him, I would be on probation for the rest of my life, and any misstep would send me outside His home and family.

I now know I bought into a lie.

My freedom in the Holy Spirit to be a son, friend and lover of God is growing. To be honest, my shelf life for this grace lasts about 24 hours. Failure to enlarge my spiritual life in Fathers ’s love begins to erode, and quickly.

I became aware this week that parts  of my life, I have been living on probation with humans and most of all, with Holy Spirit. Let me clear and honest, I have been acting out unhealthy and self-destructive lifestyle. This results in real guilt, shame and emotional pain. The Holy Scriptures honestly proclaims there is “pleasure in sin for a season”. This was my experience too. The Scripture makes a bold statement of truth, “for a season”. This is the real rub I can see more clearly,   “I just want to get by”, words I tell myself.

What do I do?

Run away from God, not too Him. Like a bastard son, wrongly believing I am on the sidelines of His heart, waiting for the probation to be over and then, sit in the back of the house, an orphan spirit sparingly tolerated.  Lies, all lies.

It takes God to love God, and what I have written is impossible to overcome without His aid. It is our Fathers heart.

So I proclaim to you who read this blog. You are not on probation. Happy Fathers day.

OnSite

2009 BILLY BOB CLASSIC

This is a video slide show I put together for the Billy Bob. You can link over to my web site portal PHOTOKY-FOLIO and open the folder named Billy Bob. Open the folder up double click the photo you want and with the right side of the mouse you can download any photo you want.

If you want to see the slide show in full screen, in the bottom right side of the screen are 4 arrows, click this and slide show will populate the whole screen. I have added music to the video.

Enjoy

Ken

LIVING BELOW THE BOTTOM LINE

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how –

I am blessed or cursed with a black and white personality. Someone said to me, “Ken pray for a gray day”. When it come to my Christian walk,  I migrate toward an attitude of  “my way or the highway”, “us 4 and no more”, or  “the chosen frozen”. These attitudes of mine are a robust enemy of the Grace of God and the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  From my view, religion is antithetical to spiritual freedom in Christ or what we call the Grace of God. Biblical grace is amazing!

We are in what I think are  expanding  days of uncertainty. This can result in some unhealthy dependence on religion, e.g., churches that have a benevolent hierarchical leadership that emphasizes spiritual authority of its leaders.

I know. I allowed myself to be caught up in such a scenario years ago. I do not blame the leaders, but myself. I placed an unhealthy reliance/dependency on church leaders for my spiritual maturity. I gave place in my heart and mind, putting spiritual leaders on pedals that the Gospel abhors. It is subtle, cunning and baffling, that is, religion.  A religion that binds, gives place to personalities rather than biblical principles. Religion demands conformity and control at the “end of the day”.

SOME SYMPTOMS

1. Over emphasis on serving God rather than worship of God.

2. Unhealthy loyalty to church policies and the personalities of church leaders.

3. When one questions church authority and policies, leaders constantly remind followers of spiritual headship and church authority. (this can be very subtle, this dogma usually found in 2nd tier leaders)

4. A over structured environment of church life. Slowly religion sets in, real life goes out. From my view point, real joy is demeaned. Reverence for God is dismantled, reverence for icons, statues, Church buildings is supplanted. When one reads the Gospel for what its really says; the church is organic, ripe with problems galore, spiritual turbulence, discord, and strife. Religion wants to pour concrete over it, the Gospel brings Grace, healing, truth, pain, suffering, and transparency. All issue are brought to the light, nothing is hidden, grace and truth prevail. Not so with religion.

I do not want to live below the bottom line of my life in Jesus, often amd regrettable I do. I need Mercy. I hope you do to.

Jeremiah said it this way in chapter 5 verse 31 (NI V)  The prophets prophesy lies, the priests rule by their own authority, and my people love it this way. But what will you do in the end?

Parenthetically, I know what I have written is one sided but I will let others balance me.

I hope you liked my photo. I shot this last week in my garage with a poster from a recent movie. The model is a lovely young lady named April. It it what  I call a concept shot.

OnSite

JUDGEMENT DAY AND MEMORIAL DAY – MAY 26 2009

OnSite believes and  was offered  insight on Sunday May 24,2009 regarding the awaited California Supreme Court. The court will overturn the will of the people and rule in favor of same sex marriage.

Postscript

OnSite go it wrong on the Prop  8 and I thank God He stepped in or stepped on…..Update 5-28-09. Two noted and highly regarded Lawyers, legal dream team of Ted Olson and David Boies announced they had filed a suit in federal court, on behalf of two gay California couples, arguing that Proposition 8 violated due process as well the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment according to the New York Times.

OnSite believes this strategy is ever so cunning and powerful, I urge all to  intercede. These lawyers are seasoned pros of the highest caliber. There voices are like thunder rolling across America. This is one strong delusion the enemy is sending across the land. Please do not under estimate  this law suite.  In my view, only prayer and intercession will stop these voices of delusion. ( posted 5-28-09 5:30EST)

With partisans on both sides, the California Supreme Court is poised to deliver its final verdict Tuesday on same-sex marriage.

We Americans and believers who hold in our hearts, biblical and traditional model of one man, one woman as God’s center piece for the pro-creation mandate will; wittiness our Fathers heart, mourn for the waywardness of our own hearts. The Land will cry out.

Also on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 President Obama will nominate a person to the United State Supreme Court. The person will harbor euthanasia and anti-life. A new breed of dark death, cloaked in a black robe of legal self-righteousness.

Take heart, our Father has heard the cries of 50 million babies who sing at His throne minute by minute. He will have mercy on us by sending  judgement to the land and our hearts.

I urge all to plead guilty and cry for mercy.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The day the President of the United State spoke at Notre Dame. The time 2:00 p.m. on Sunday, May 17, 2009 in the Joyce Center on campus.  Catholic hierarchies denounced the Notre Dame for allowing a pro abortion advocate. Their admonishment  was in vein.

On the same day, May 17, 2009 a magnitude  4.7 at (08:39:36 PM local time) earthquake rocked  California in the greater Los Angeles, CA area.

THE OFFENSIVE GOSPEL

“Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.”
– A.J. Liebling

I have found very few of us humans who want to be offended, even more so, with the Gospel Of Jesus Christ. Commonly called the Good News, in American  modern culture I see an abhorrence with truth and life; there is only  scorn and contempt.

Relevance based churches at times, in my view, sadly have over reacted to the “truth squad” authoritarian based church regimes.  From where I sit, personality cults are far to dominant in church culture. I know. I wrongly have place leaders on pedestals that scripture does not promulgate.

Relevance based churches are busting at the seams in attendance. There are some signs though, these types of  “models” are showing stress.

Increasingly church policies are trying to mold their new converts into “their kind” of convert. What I hope; the teaching gift (s) released about the Kingdom of God, knowing God and His ways. Of course this is impossible  by man/woman alone.

Here is the catch and this is where the offense comes.

Jesus in Lord, Holy Spirit is resident teacher. Most leaders won’t admit they don’t know, they think they know. Jesus always has to deal with the one who always knows. I know you know.

No question in my mind, that for decades churches have impossible thresholds for acceptance, love, mercy and compassion for a seeker of truth.

I know from personal experience my own self righteous, arrogant know it all attitude has sent many a seeker to turn and run away from the truth. But the truth is the truth even when I muck it up.

The  “rub” of the Gospel, at its core  is outrageously offensive to most ears. Either the Gospel is truth or its the biggest lie ever perpetrated on mankind. The claims of the Gospel are to outrageous to ignore.

How about this; “For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink.”, “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day”,”I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.

Now here is a real offensive strangler, if you are not a believer. “In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. So he became as much superior to the angels as the name he has inherited is superior to theirs.”. Even though I am a believer, I choke too at the truth of the Gospel, but I pray I not become offended.

This is the season and coming season of offense for believers. Many are being offended by truth and some by half truths and some by lies. Many are being betrayed in this season of refinement. Our hearts can only be strengthened by suffering, both from the just and the unjust. It is Gods ways and mean committee. And it is a  mean committee.

If you can, get a copy (CD)of R.T.  Kendall message on Forgiveness . I believe it is still available at Encounters Network. You can may need to call them. Also a message of hope by Bob Mumford, “Being a Father Pleaser”. I think Father Pleaser is a free download at this site. Real gems from the “ole timers” of the faith.

In closing, a prophetic parable for my State, Kentucky, happened on the first Saturday in May 2009.  At the 3/4 pole of the 2009 Kentucky Derby, MIND THAT BIRD was dead last. At the end of the race, the horse was first place. The horse was a 50/1  shot, was bought for $9,500 and won the most prestigious race in the Nation.  My job is to keep my MIND and heart on the prize, not the goal.

OnSite

100 DAYS – A HIPPOCRATIC VIEW

Ezekiel Emanuel sees the Hippocratic Oath as one factor driving “overuse” of medical care. He is a policy adviser in the Office of Management and Budget (OMB) and a brother of Rahm Emanuel, the president’s chief of staff.

CHANGE IS A KEY WORD THE PRESIDENT HAS USED TO DEFINE HIS MISSION

RESULTS IN CHANGE FOR THE UNBORN

1. 3 days after being sworn into the Office of President of the United States signed an executive order resulting US taxpayers to pay for abortions overseas.

2. Approved tax funding for a UN program funding abortions in China

3.  Revokes medical rights for Doctors who do not want to perform abortions

4. The President had a White House health care conference;  no pro life advocates invited.

5. Critical Federal appointments were appointed by the President with the “who’s who” of pro abortions groups; Dawn Johnson, Ellen Moran , and Tina Tchen.

6. President would like to see a legislative repeal of that law; Defense of Marriage Act.

7. Put in place a radical reduction of charitable giving deductions

The President proclaimed  “change is coming to America”

ON A LIGHTER SIDE

The Federal Government spent $360,000 to take a photo of Air Force One over the skyline of New York City. For fun I did the same thing in about 10 minutes for $0.00. I did this in photoshop CS4

OnSite

WHAT ARE OUR MORAL OBLIGATIONS TO PIGS?

In the United States, law schools are offering courses on animal rights….

Who is the “daddy” of this thinking; Princeton scholar Peter Singer.He wrote a book called “Animal Liberation” authored in 1973, later expanded in 1975. From his work and book are the underpinnings of current cultural philosophies of this age about the humane treatment of animals.

Dumbfounding as this may seem, Spain is moving to grant basic legal rights to apes. PETA had revenues of over $34 million bucks.

Do you have any compunctions about swatting a flea, mosquito or ant?? This is where this animal rights group would like to take us, I think.

WHY? It’s about Abortion. The Western culture is so blood stained, and guilt ridden over the millions and millions of unborn babies that have been slaughtered, just like pigs. A transference of conscience to the “needs” of animals is trending upwards in popular culture and may soon be  mainstream in western thought.  One might say a cultural atonement is taking place to (falsely) cleanse  our collective conscience.

Unknown to a lot of believers, in the Genesis 1:21 mandate, our Father created every living creature in the sea and on land, and He saw, IT WAS GOOD. Therefore, I know I am to care for those animals in my personal domain. Further on in the scriptures He (our Father) instructs me in the care of animals. However, the animals are to serve me though I am the shepherd of the flock.

So, WHAT ARE OUR MORAL OBLIGATIONS TO PIGS? I look to Jesus who sent a lot of demons into pigs. I am sure PETA would sue Jesus and then have Him crucified.

This is Easter week, and mostly celebrated by pagan rituals, smells, bells and puppy dog tails.

For me He rises each day in my heart, though I send Him away, way too often. He has risen, He sites on the throne, Lord of all creation, the firstborn of all creation, King, He is before all things, He holds all things together, it was His blood that made peace. This is Truth, our hope.

OnSite

HONEST TO GOD

Job 6: 10 Then I would still have this consolation— my joy in unrelenting pain— that I had not denied the words of the Holy One.

I have been a lot of emotional turmoil these past months. As I have examined and taken an modest inventory, most is due to my self reliance. The pain in my heart at times, has not found words to cry out or cry.

The rage in my mind is that old familiar lie; “I am not enough”.  Condemnation, shame, guilt dog my every step. Most is self imposed, which adds to the weight on my heart. Hope seems harder to find. I hope to find some words of comfort in Psalm 51: 1-19.

I really want my Father to hold me in His arms and feel His care and warmth again.

I have failed again. My lament is not to be a victim or a whiner, just honest to God. When Jonah was sent to Nineveh by God, Jonah ran away. That is what I want to do, run away and not face me and my sins. From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. He said:   “In my distress I called to the LORD,  and he answered me.  From the depths of the grave  I called for help, and you listened to my cry, said Jonah. It took total darkness in a “smelly belly” to get him to cry out. His “onion” was peeled again. Jonah had a “rude awakening”.

Those who read this blog, I ask for your prayers and intercession; I would be given the gift of repentance and expanding heart of forgiveness, toward others and myself. All the “seven deadly sins” are at play in my heart as my onion gets peeled.

OnSite

Photo above by Ken Lawson

NOTEWORTHY STUFF

Bishop John D’Arcy Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend

“President Obama has recently reaffirmed, and has now placed in public policy, his long-stated unwillingness to hold human life as sacred. While claiming to separate politics from science, he has in fact separated science from ethics and has brought the American government, for the first time in history, into supporting direct destruction of innocent human life.”
“Even as I continue to ponder in prayer these events, which many have found shocking, so must Notre Dame. Indeed, as a Catholic University, Notre Dame must ask itself, if by this decision it has chosen prestige over truth.
Tomorrow, we celebrate as Catholics the moment when our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, became a child in the womb of his most holy mother. Let us ask Our Lady to intercede for the university named in her honor, that it may recommit itself to the primacy of truth over prestige.”

CHARLES COLSON

“As one reporter noted, even when Christians know correct doctrine, they are afraid of speaking the truth for fear of offending others. What right have I to impose my beliefs on others? is a thought that shapes too many of us believers”.

ODDS & ENDS

1. In the Old Testament there are 613 commandments

2. In the New Testament a one commandment lurks and rarely practiced ; foot washing, said explicitly by Jesus found in John 13:14.The prohibition against wearing jewelry in 1 Peter 3:3, which most Christians do not practice today.

3. The Bible was organized into verses in 1551

PROJECTING OUR OWN IDEAS INTO BIBLICAL TEXT

Each semester  a theologian administers two part personality questionnaire to his new students. The first part asks students about their view of Jesus. The second part, with slightly different language, asks students about themselves. The result? According the test, Amazingly consistent – “everyone thinks Jesus is like them?”.  One might call this the “Rorchach thinkers.”

This Weeks Photo by Ken Lawson

A guy and his dog

INCONVENIENT CONTRACTS

THE POLITICS OF ENVY -  Do we really have to foot the bill for those bonuses at AIG?

It sure does sting. A staggering $165 million — for employees of a company that nearly took down the financial system. And heck, we, the taxpayers, own nearly 80 percent of A.I.G. All the kings horse’s are not going to to put Humpty Dumpty’s back together again, but the kings men are sure trying, as if they can. Folks, its about envy, one of the seven deadly sins. Our  public federal servants are verbally feasting on AIG.  No doubt AIG built this bomb, and we the American taxpayers could have watched as the bomb blew up AIG, but no, the same federal civil servants gave us the bomb so it can explode in our homes, cars, etc. The bomb has exploded, now our federal servants is trying to put the wreckage back in AIG’s home and taking the credit for it. WOW, I wish I could get away with that.

Compensation consultants mostly agree these bonus’s to AIG top performers are legal contracts. It would appear BIG BROTHER is stepping into some shoes that are somewhat slippery. If government officials were to break the contracts, they would be breaking a bond.  The word on the street is that A.I.G. employees are being heavily recruited, if true, AIG is toast and we taxpayers are chumps at expense of our Federal civil servants and elected officials.

If you are like me, I got a bad case of envy, so its a “feelgood” to me when the “wall street types” get a boot up their butts. However if I am willing to put principles before personalities, then pay the financial geeks and let’s move on.

OnSite

This photo I created is what it is like to be swept away with envy…..it feels good for a while…